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The Crazy Morel Picker – A Poem

January 26, 2015 by Caroline Cloutier

This poem is by Larry Moran, a morel picker member of the Thompson Okanagan convivium. He wrote it during the 2014 season up in the Yukon.

MorelPicker (Medium)

 

I’m known as a crazy morel picker

I search the forest fires from last year

My list of maps grows ever thicker

In the hunt of the adventure I hold dear.

 

This year I’m off to the Yukon

There’s 250,000 Hectares that have burnt down

It’s 3000 Kilometers that I’ll put on.

To reach Carmacks, they call it a town

 

I travel up the Alaska Highway

It goes on and on and never seems to end

You know if I had it my way

I’d be there after the roads next bend

 

Finally after spending $1,000 on fuel

I arrive in the Mushroom camp

Only to find that the conditions are cruel

For the Morels that I will have to tramp

 

I have to pay to cross the Yukon River

To get the to the fire on the other side

The thought of this makes me quiver

But what the Hell, I’ll swallow my pride

 

I pay for a quad ride for five days.

To get into the Morel patch

It’s a small price that I’ll pay

For the total amount of scratch

 

After that I have to hike and hike

To get to where the Morels are

Some days I wish I had a dirt Bike

Instead of on my foot this ugly scar

 

Many days when I pick the bugs are real bad

But I have to get them out of my head

If I don’t they will drive me absolutely mad

And run back to camp with no Morels which I’ll dread

 

This year the price of Morels is really high

And so it seems is everyone in camp

But as the morels diminish in supply

The spirits of the pickers start to go damp

So finally the season is done

And it’s time to pack up and go

For some reason I call it all fun

Why the Hell I will never know

 

I head out for home down the road

Turn on the radio to see what’s going on everywhere

They say in B.C. there’s a heavy fire load

I let out a cheer there will be Morels next year.

 

rootsfruitsfunghi@gmail.com

Larry Moran

 

Filed Under: Blog

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